didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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