I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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