Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
