I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
