D3 body, D1 cock
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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