ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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