Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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