it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
