Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
