i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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