You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
