Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.