RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.