drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
