cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS