I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
