Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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