apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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