the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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