I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
