did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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