found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
