is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
