apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i think i just lost a toe
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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