my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We are two peas in an std pod
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
