I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
