addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
