Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
