Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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