we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
