I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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