i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
