it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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