so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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