Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We are all done wearing pants today
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
