Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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