i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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