I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
FUCK WHALES
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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