I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
