i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
