Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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