Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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