So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
