im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
