chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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