I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
