No stitches, just platelets and will power
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
