So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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