hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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