My brain says no but my pants say off.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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