There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
