I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize