Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
please don't ironically join a cult
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