I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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