I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
