dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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