Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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