You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
