if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
