just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize