You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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