uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
