I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So much rum. So many feels.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
