you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
