good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
