So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
