call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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