NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
