Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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