she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
